Funny Stuff

On the lighter side:

From Broken Newz comes the revelation that President Bush May Send Up To 5 Marines For French Assistance in quelling the riots.

President Bush has authorized the Joint Chiefs to begin drawing up a battle plan to pull France's ass out of the fire again. Facing an apparent overwhelming force of up to 400 pissed off teenagers Mr. Bush doubts France's ability to hold off the little pissants. "Hell, if the last two world wars are any indication, I would expect France to surrender any day now", said Bush.

Joint Chiefs head, Gen. Peter Pace, warned the President that it might be necessary to send up to 5 marines to get things under control. The general admitted that 5 marines may be overkill but he wanted to get this thing under control within 24 hours of arriving on scene. He stated he was having a hard time finding even one marine to help those ungrateful bastards out for a third time but thought that he could persuade a few women marines to do the job before they went on pregnancy leave.

Along the same lines is this:

And, there is this brief report from "America's Finest News Source," The Onion: "Faith Healer Loses Patient During Routine Miracle"

Then there is the peek provided by Christopher Buckley into ethics "refresher courses" being taught now at the White House: "Remedial Ethics"

But the best is from the American Comedy Network. As reported in the Washington Post last week, "[With] sustained combat in Iraq mak[ing] it harder than ever to fill the ranks of the all-volunteer force, newly released Pentagon demographic data show that the military is leaning heavily for recruits on economically depressed, rural areas where youths' need for jobs may outweigh the risks of going to war." This alarmed Karl Rove, of course, since economically depressed rural areas are mostly in Red States. "Horrors!" thought Karl. "We are shipping the future of the Republican "base" off to get killed in Iraq!" Since doing anything to either decrease the demand for cannon fodder or increase economic opportunity for the rural poor was inconsistent with neo-con ideology, Karl realized (brilliant mind that he is) that the only real choice was to equalize the political implications by recruiting more youths from economically depressed urban areas, most of which are, of course, in Blue States. Toward this end, Karl paid an advertising agency 40 kajillion dollars to develop a new ad campaign aimed at the hood: "I Need Soldiers."

Asked to comment on the new campaign, President Bush said that "In the war against the evildoers, all of the poor needed to bear the burden equally."