Retirement Plans

An approach to retiement I plan to emulate:

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days
interesting. Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and
went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out,
there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and said, 'Come
on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?'

He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Nazi turd.. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires. So my wife called him a shit-head. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the
first. Then he started writing a third ticket.

This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

Personally, we didn't care. We came into town by bus and saw the car had a Bush sticker.

We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It's important at our age.

Coconuts

As if the world didn't have enough on its plate already, it sounds like there has been a coup in Fiji. That by itself would not be particularly noteworthy. After all, this is the 4th Fijian coup in 20 years (about as often as we have elections) and, after all, how does a coup in Fiji really impact American interests (or anyone else's, for that matter).

But one thing about the BBC reporting on this cuaght my ear on the way home from work tonight. Apparently, one of the main reasons for the coup is that the commander of the army is angry that the government is proposing to grant amnesty to . . . ready for this? . . . the last group who had staged a coup.

Talk about glass houses and stones and so forth. How goofy a reason for a coup can there be?

A Little More Humor From Booty Girl

Courtesy, again, of booty girl:

The Hiatus

It's been nearly a month since I posted anything. For part of that time I was on vacation sans internet access, but I must confess as well to a bit of ennui. No one except Left Coast Rob seemed even to notice, so it didn't seem all that important. And besides, the news is so unrelentingly depressing that it's hard even to think about it much, let alone write about it.

But, Billy Bob seems now to have access again, so I transferred the last four days of Billy Bob's Bulletins I did (June 12 to 16) back here from the alternative site I had set up and decided to get my sorry ass back in gear again.

Just to work slowly back into it, here are some cartoons I have seen over the past few days that made me smile:













Also, I think the cover of this week's Economist is a hoot:

Phony Wars

Having a bit of fun with the so-called "war on marriage" and comparing it to last year's equally bogus "war on Christmas," Emily Messner of the Washigton Post asked this question:

Why is it that politicians characterize a war as inexcusably destructive and call for its immediate end pretty much exclusively when no actual war of any sort is involved?

Good question.

Ooops! Not There Either

F.B.I. Calls Off Its Latest Search for Hoffa

Ask yourself why these guys are spending time and money looking for Jimmy Hoffa, especially since anyone who had anything to do with his disappearnce is now probably as dead as he is. In the age of golbal terrorisim, doesn't the FBI have anything better to do?

Gee, Thanks For The Reminder.

From a WSJ Review of "An Inconvenient Truth," Al Gore's global warming potboiler (some editorial license exercised):

Talk about an inconvenient truth: In a million years, the time it takes the earth to sneeze, the planet will likely be shorn of any conspicuous sign we were ever here, let alone careless with our CO2, dioxins, etc.

That's your happy-thought for today.

When The News Gets You Down . . .

When the daily load of depressing news just gets too much to bear, take a side trip to Bill Doty's Broken Newz. The news is the same, but Doty provides a whole new (and sometimes very funny) perspective. Some examples of "Broken Newz" headlines:

New Poll: If Bush Breaks Leg, Majority Approve Putting Him Down

Canada Orders Mounties to U.S. Border to Prevent Influx of Crappy Film Productions

72 Virgins Club Relaxes Membership Rules

Osama bin Laden Releases Latest Message on Myspace Page [Be sure to click the proffered link].

FDA Denies Benefits of Medicinal Marijuana; Little Debbie Stocks Plummet [This one is an inside joke for those of us who, like WJC, "didn't inhale."]

The humor is uneven (after all, who can be funny 24/7) and sometimes descends to the truly pornographic (see Helen Thomas Hooks Up With Cancun Boy-Toy). Also, there is a whole ton of ads to ignore, although some of them will be intriguing to the males among us. But, if you can tolerate the unevenness and clutter, it'll brighten your day.

Oh, and for those of you who are tired of reading, there are some great White House greeting cards and political cartoons: For example:

From The "Oh Shit!" Department

Courtesy of "booty girl," from Worth1000.com, I gather, some funny pics.

I assume (hope) these are doctored, but who knows. We all know the feeling:

The Leader Of The Free World

I just couldn't resist this picture (the caption is mine):




I feel so much better knowing that this man is watching out for me, my family, and my country.

A Good Day For Cartoons

All of the following appeared on May 11: